DailySusan Humor Blog

PUNS BY THE PORCH

I don’t get out much. I have to make my own fun. Since it’s just me that I’m entertaining, I don’t have to work too hard, either.

Take our front porch. I am a gardener as well as a cornball. Last, but not least, I am the mother of four daughters. Someday, we’d like to get them married off, though, of course, it’s not a hotly-burning priority. They’re all still too young, and will remain “too young” until they are, oh, in their 30s.

But anyway, I planted some flowering plants together by our entryway that relate to our status as a home for four beautiful young ladies. It is funny to think about these plants as silent witnesses and sentinels as a long line of would-be knights in shining armor – OK, their dates – come and go.

First, I put bachelor’s buttons.

Next, I planted impatiens.

Next, I put maiden grass, guarded by a very large and imposing – protective, actually -- mum.

Finally, right by the door, there’s a victorious bridal wreath spirea.

Someday, inside our front entryway, I’ll put a potted plant to go with this whole progression. It’s a tall, sharp and spikey succulent: “Mother-in-Law Tongue.”

If there’s a “divorce plant” out there, I don’t want to know about it!