NEVER SEND A GUY
TO THE GROCERY STORE
Here's a hilarious video from a woman who did the unthinkable. She sent her husband to the grocery store with a crystal-clear list of things to purchase. And all hell broke loose. Can you relate?
I'm remembering the time my Beloved returned home from a rare shopping trip with a container of baking soda the size of a REFRIGERATOR BOX!!! I guess it was the size they use to clean swimming pools, not bake a few batches of chocolate chip cookies. Oy! I'm sure I said something witty and sarcastic, and he replied, supremely hurt, "But it was ON your list, and it was on SALE!!!"
I used that same baking soda for centuries to salve his self-esteem . . . but he never volunteered to shop for me again. Too dangerous!
See how this hubby responded in the same situation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs&feature=related
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SAY
HUNH?!?!?!?
Our dry cleaner's sends out a handy-dandy e-coupon that often contains the wisdom of the ages. Here is this week's missive, with my elaborations:
-- A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
That's a lot of hearing "aids."
-- A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off.
I'd be too chicken to see it.
-- A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
Next they'll make hats.
A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person.
They don't know my Beloved.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Wonder if the newly-minted ones start out with none?
A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
Bet the boys still take forever to come to the dinner table.
A fully loaded supertanker travelling at normal speed takes a least twenty minutes to stop.
Driver's ed teachers should convey that concept to 15-year-old student drivers.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
Not touching that one with a 21-inch pole. :>)
HUNH?!?!?!?
Our dry cleaner's sends out a handy-dandy e-coupon that often contains the wisdom of the ages. Here is this week's missive, with my elaborations:
-- A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
That's a lot of hearing "aids."
-- A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off.
I'd be too chicken to see it.
-- A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
Next they'll make hats.
A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person.
They don't know my Beloved.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Wonder if the newly-minted ones start out with none?
A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
Bet the boys still take forever to come to the dinner table.
A fully loaded supertanker travelling at normal speed takes a least twenty minutes to stop.
Driver's ed teachers should convey that concept to 15-year-old student drivers.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
Not touching that one with a 21-inch pole. :>)
Monday, August 17, 2009
FOR THOSE WHO THINK
CREATIONISM
IS DOO-DOO
Everybody loves dinosaurs, but bet most of us have never thought about this aspect of their time on Earth:
According to the journal Paleontology, researchers in Argentina have discovered that if it wasn't for the South American scarab dung beetles, the whole South American continent would have been buried knee-deep in dinosaur manure.
Those gigantic creatures churned out a lot of you-know-what. But, the researchers found, those busy dung beetles collected it and buried it underground in caches the size of tennis balls to provide (eww!) food for their young.
If they hadn't, then disease-carrying flies would've gone wild, and the dung would have made plant growth nigh on impossible.
It's just another good example of the symbiosis, or mutually-beneficial relationships, with which God designed the world. Yeah, sure, some people say these are just lucky breaks -- happy coincidences -- millions of them. Just "random chance."
Oh, yeah? What a crock. :>)
CREATIONISM
IS DOO-DOO
Everybody loves dinosaurs, but bet most of us have never thought about this aspect of their time on Earth:
According to the journal Paleontology, researchers in Argentina have discovered that if it wasn't for the South American scarab dung beetles, the whole South American continent would have been buried knee-deep in dinosaur manure.
Those gigantic creatures churned out a lot of you-know-what. But, the researchers found, those busy dung beetles collected it and buried it underground in caches the size of tennis balls to provide (eww!) food for their young.
If they hadn't, then disease-carrying flies would've gone wild, and the dung would have made plant growth nigh on impossible.
It's just another good example of the symbiosis, or mutually-beneficial relationships, with which God designed the world. Yeah, sure, some people say these are just lucky breaks -- happy coincidences -- millions of them. Just "random chance."
Oh, yeah? What a crock. :>)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
SO MUCH FOR VOLUNTEERING
IN THE GEEZER COMPLEX
Maddy went with us this evening to visit an elderly relative who is temporarily in what we used to call "an old folks' home," recovering from an injury.
A bright spot was trying out the soft-serve ice cream machine in the community room, and sitting outside and enjoying the lovely July evening. Better still, here came a nice teen-age boy who takes piano lessons right after Maddy. He was straightening chairs and helping out. Turns out he is a volunteer there, out of the goodness of his heart and because he has a desire to work with the elderly some day. Isn't that nice?
But Maddy would have none of that volunteering idea. "I heard a lady say real loud and cheerfully, 'LET'S PUT SOME CREAM ON YOUR BOTTOM!!!'" she exclaimed. "I'm not doing that!"
IN THE GEEZER COMPLEX
Maddy went with us this evening to visit an elderly relative who is temporarily in what we used to call "an old folks' home," recovering from an injury.
A bright spot was trying out the soft-serve ice cream machine in the community room, and sitting outside and enjoying the lovely July evening. Better still, here came a nice teen-age boy who takes piano lessons right after Maddy. He was straightening chairs and helping out. Turns out he is a volunteer there, out of the goodness of his heart and because he has a desire to work with the elderly some day. Isn't that nice?
But Maddy would have none of that volunteering idea. "I heard a lady say real loud and cheerfully, 'LET'S PUT SOME CREAM ON YOUR BOTTOM!!!'" she exclaimed. "I'm not doing that!"
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
A BIG, COLD, WET, ICKY SPIDER?
Maddy had this hot-weather joke today that really cooled me off:
Q. What do you call a scorpion at the North Pole?
A. LOST!
Maddy had this hot-weather joke today that really cooled me off:
Q. What do you call a scorpion at the North Pole?
A. LOST!
Monday, July 20, 2009
CHOLESTEROL VS. CUPCAKE:
TIMING IS EVERYTHING . . . DARN IT
I love cupcakes. My idea of online porn is to visit www.sprinkles.com So it was with a happy grin that I read of the world's largest cupcake on display this past weekend at the Mall of America. It weighed 150 pounds, wtih 60 pounds of icing, and served 1,500 happy people. Prepared by www.cakes.com, it made the Guinness Book of World Records.
That's the good news. The BAD news is, we had our health screening last week, and my cholesterol is 'way up. I got the call minutes after reading about the big cupcake.
So no cupcakes for me. It's back on a serious diet and exercise plan. WAH!
Maybe by the time I get back into shape, they'll have the world's largest HoHo on display, and even if I can't eat it, I can ogle it.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING . . . DARN IT
I love cupcakes. My idea of online porn is to visit www.sprinkles.com So it was with a happy grin that I read of the world's largest cupcake on display this past weekend at the Mall of America. It weighed 150 pounds, wtih 60 pounds of icing, and served 1,500 happy people. Prepared by www.cakes.com, it made the Guinness Book of World Records.
That's the good news. The BAD news is, we had our health screening last week, and my cholesterol is 'way up. I got the call minutes after reading about the big cupcake.
So no cupcakes for me. It's back on a serious diet and exercise plan. WAH!
Maybe by the time I get back into shape, they'll have the world's largest HoHo on display, and even if I can't eat it, I can ogle it.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
CELEBRITY CRAYFISH
MEETS HIS MAKER
ALONG WITH MICHAEL, FARRAH, ED & NOW KARL
Sheesh. A lot of celebrities have died in recent days. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Karl Malden . . . and now we learn of the peaceful yet tragic demise of Bob the Crayfish.
He was the classroom superstar for some west Omaha kids this past year. They observed him, they cut worms for him, they wrote stories about him, they learned about habitats and the environment through him, and most of all, they brought hats for him to wear. LOTS OF HATS!!!
My teacher friend, who's more than a little creative and wacky, made this memorial video in tribute before she laid him to eternal rest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMehTFPPWlE
MEETS HIS MAKER
ALONG WITH MICHAEL, FARRAH, ED & NOW KARL
Sheesh. A lot of celebrities have died in recent days. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Karl Malden . . . and now we learn of the peaceful yet tragic demise of Bob the Crayfish.
He was the classroom superstar for some west Omaha kids this past year. They observed him, they cut worms for him, they wrote stories about him, they learned about habitats and the environment through him, and most of all, they brought hats for him to wear. LOTS OF HATS!!!
My teacher friend, who's more than a little creative and wacky, made this memorial video in tribute before she laid him to eternal rest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMehTFPPWlE
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