DailySusan Humor Blog

A THICK-SKINNED MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

God never intended weddings to be such crazy, big productions. I mean, look at Adam and Eve. God set them up one day, there wasn’t much hoopla, and voila! They were raisin’ Cain.

I know a lot of otherwise lovely, serene, normal women whose lives have been transformed into a SCREAMING, EXHAUSTING, PERSPIRATION-DRENCHED, LIVING HELL by the effort it takes nowadays to give your daughter a nice wedding.

We’re talkin’ renting the hall more than a year in advance . . . limos . . . eight bridesmaid’s dresses . . . fittings . . . wedding favors . . . a chocolate factory . . . a video . . . an audio . . . an audiovideo. . . .

But a friend’s friend takes the cake. Her daughter’s wedding was impending, and she did, indeed, stress out. Finally, the big day came. Although she was on overload, she got through the whole schmear, and finally, late that night, was undressing for bed . . . when she noticed two little black dots on her upper chest.

Hmmm. How’d those get there?

It dawned on her that it was dried blood . . . and in her haste and stress, she must have pinned her corsage through her skin, and never even felt it.

We have four daughters. Read my lips: E-L-O-P-E!

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Prayer request: There’s a first-born son, 24, who is coming out of three years on depression medication, and now, his dad says, he’s “trying to just be focused and happy enough to wake for the day.” He’s a computer genius, can run several miles without puffing, loves to discuss and write about philosophy, and has a lot going for himself in the cranium department – but appears to have no ambition to go back to college, or get a job. Before his father goes completely bald from pulling his hair out, Lord, we lift this precious and talented young man up to You for grace and healing. Show him You love him, and refocus his life so that he can trust in You and see a bright future. Give him a gentle nudge toward a productive new direction. (Isaiah 26:3)