DailySusan Humor Blog

PLAYING KETCHUP WITH A QUICK WIT

A friend who’s a history buff went to the Nebraska-Pittsburgh football game last weekend, and decided to take a side trip to visit Johnstown, Pa. That was the scene of the terrible 1889 flood where more 2,200 people drowned.

He loved this story about a Pittsburgh Post-Dispatch reporter. He is supposed to have written his lead paragraph about the flood: ‘’God spread his wrath on Johnstown today.’’

An editor in Pittsburgh is supposed to have wired back: ‘’Forget the flood, interview God!’’

Back at the game, my friend reported that, on the scoreboard in Heinz Field, there are two giant bottles of ketchup. When Pittsburgh gets into the red zone, the tops of the bottles open and it appears as though ketchup is pouring out.

He said, ‘’I think some of it fell on my hot dog.’’

I’m sure he wiped it off, good Republican that it is. The Heinz that field is named for is the late first husband of the ultra-rich Mrs. John Kerry. You know, the one the Swift Boats veterans are calling a . . . WIENIE MAN.

Well, that wasn’t the end of the fun. He also sent digital pictures of expensive pleasure boats and yachts, most of them tied to docks, that had broken off from their moorings in the flood. They were floating and careening down the flooded river in plain sight of the stadium’s higher seats, all through the game. It was pretty alarming and hair-raising to be that near to a violent flood.

Now my friend wants to be known as a ‘’Swift Boat Veteran.’’

Oh, brother. Please pass the ketchup!

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Prayer request: We pray for safety and an anointing of the Holy Spirit as a new friend Pam goes over to Kenya on a mission trip next week. Lord Jesus, protect her and let Your light shine through her as she serves as Your ambassador to that beautiful continent. (Matthew 28:19)