DailySusan Humor Blog

GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO!

Little old ladies are often depicted as feeble invalids with barely enough energy to knit booties in their rocking chairs. So it is fun and refreshing to ponder what 76-year-old Pearl Fritts of Lincoln did after a would-be car thief bashed her head against a dumpster:

She whirled around, put up her dukes and stood her ground.

According to www.journalstar.com, she was behind a nursing home on the way to visit her 95-year-old mother when a teenage girl assaulted her, leaving a gash of several inches in her forehead. When the teenager realized the little old lady in glasses would put up a fistfight rather than surrender her car, the girl fled.

A suspect matching that description who was a runaway from Omaha was picked up an hour later at a nearby restaurant.

So what I want to know is:

Why doesn’t Pearl start a self-defense course for grannies and grampies who want to be elder-buffs like her? She could be a personal trainer for the denture set! She could dispatch legions of elderly vigilantes out there crime-fighting away their golden years!

Whipping up on these whippersnappers would go a long way toward restoring law and order in our mean streets. And it’s GOT to be more fun than endless hours of bingo.