DailySusan Humor Blog

TIME STOOD STILL

I have a beautiful Concord watch with a dead battery. Tired of being late and never knowing what time it is, I took it to one of those mall fix-it kiosks. Handing the clerk the watch, I tried out one of my corniest lines:

“Time stood still. Can you help?”

He stared at me, popping his gum.

Finally, he asked in a monotone, “Dead battery?” I nodded.

He said if I would come back in 30 minutes, they would have it cleaned up and a new battery in it for $24.95.

I tried again, even cornier. “But without a watch, how am I to know when 30 minutes is up?”

Again, dead stare and gum-chewing. At least this time he shrugged.

I tried one last time: “So if I count to 60 thirty times, and come back, and you haven’t cleaned my clock yet, does that mean I get to clean YOURS?”

I don’t think he understood me. He looked like he was in pain.

Then his older co-worker helped me out. He was ringing up another customer. She handed him exact change. He exulted, “Good. Now I don’t have to take off my shoes and socks to make change.”

We three old fogies laughed – he meant he didn’t have to count on his fingers and toes.

The kid, on the other hand, just kept chewing his gum and went to work on a watch. I guess life must be boring when you watch the clock all day. . . .

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CHRISTMAS KINDNESS: Today’s suggestion for a good cause to support this Christmas is the Nebraska Special Olympics. This year it served close to 1,500 people with intellectual disabilities, mostly children, in a series of fun sporting events. Tax-deductible donations go for year-round training, uniforms, food and communications costs. Learn more on www.sone.org