DailySusan Humor Blog

PUBLIC ENEMY #2

Ninth Street in downtown Lincoln is the feeder street for University of Nebraska stadium traffic on a football Saturday. There must be five lanes full of rushing, eager, red-clad fans straining to get to their parking places to make it to their seats by kickoff.

This past Saturday, a jaywalking man with a lady in tow popped out right in front of us, zigzagging across the street in and around the rushing cars. My mouth dropped as we swerved by: it was Johnny Rodgers, the N.U. running back sensation and Heisman Trophy winner of a few decades ago. He’s a real-life hero around these parts.

“We nearly hit him!” my husband exclaimed. “We would have been Public Enemy #1!”

Now, we were really only going about 10 mph. In his prime, Johnny could have dodged through traffic going 65 mph with no problem, thanks to his darts and spins. Now that he’s 50-something, at least he has an excuse for being a little slower, unlike the Huskers, who are really going through some tough times.

Actually, we re-thought it. The relatively new athletic director, Steve Pederson, is the hands-down Public Enemy #1 around here for making a lot of sudden changes that a lot of people feel have led to the Huskers’ current woes. So even if we had taken out Johnny Rodgers, our ranking could never have been worse than #2. Some consolation, huh? But we still have hope for you, Stevie P: there’s always next year.