DailySusan Humor Blog

THE EYE(BROW)S HAVE IT

I’ve tried mousse (goopy). I’ve tried gel (sticky). I’ve tried udder balm (stinky). I’ve tried hairspray (dries too fast). I’ve tried spit (horrible manners).

Nothing will keep my left eyebrow hairs from springing upward toward my hairline in a decidedly unruly fashion. Meanwhile, the right eyebrow hairs continue to grow in a conventionally arched, rightward direction, as well they should.

I guess I must sleep on the left side of my face with turbo power, grinding my forehead into my pillow. All I know is, about a year ago, suddenly, my well-mannered left eyebrow just sprang vertical. Since the rest of my body continues to overachieve in its spread in the horizontal direction, this is too much contrast for a unified whole.

My friend Jeannie knows why it’s happening. “Just look around at everything that’s going on in the world,” she counseled. “Your eyebrow is just raising itself all the time, in shock. Maybe you shouldn’t read so many newspapers.”

Yeah, well, if I put earplugs in, then I suppose my EARLOBES will start curling up. You can’t win!

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Prayer Request: There’s a beloved husband, father and valued employee who has come down with a case of pneumonia. Oh, Breath of Life, fill Steve’s lungs with cleansing air and renew his strength and endurance. Drive out all the bad bugs and bring him back to the pink of health. Thank You for his good medical care, and for all who are helping the family in this time of trial. (Acts 17:25)