DailySusan Humor Blog

ANNEXATION ANGST

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love;
In honour preferring one another. . . .
-- Romans 12:10

Everybody in our town is up in arms about a hostile takeover battle waged against us by our big, bossy neighbor. Omaha is determined to annex our little Elkhorn on the far western fringe of this county. They’re marrying us strictly for our money. There isn’t even going to be a honeymoon.

Oh, we’re trying to fight it. There’ve been defiant letters to the editor, and tears from tough guys at public meetings. Protest signs are going up. At the hardware store and Dick’s Hillrise Market, the heart of the community, you see people standing in little groups, chewing things over, trying to find a way out.

People live here because they DON’T want to live in the big city. That’s being taken away from us, against our will, with the stroke of a pen.

We left our midtown Omaha home on a four-lane street to settle on our spacious three acres here, six years ago. We love it that you can have horses, and there’s more grass than pavement. All around, you see boats, campers, dogs, kids, big gardens, tall trees, wild turkeys, snowmobiles, ATVs, swingsets, joggers, walkers and . . . life. Lots of life.

Best of all are the stars. The city lights are far enough away that you can go out on your patio, look up, and see layers of shimmering diamonds on black velvet. Just like out in the country. Which this still is, no matter what the slick city attorneys say.

Our old neighborhood in midtown Omaha, “back East,” was pretty formal. You didn’t wear sweats to the grocery store. You drove someplace to go work out. People barely knew their neighbors’ names.

But out here, there’s a Progressive Dinner and an Easter egg hunt, two neighborhood clean-ups with potluck picnics, a great Fourth of July celebration, and a newspaper that focuses on encouraging local kids. Two of our neighbors are on the City Council; two others serve on the Park Board. You see the city administrator at the quick shop, and there’s, like, two crimes per year.

When we moved in, we quickly realized we’d left the stuffed-shirt neighborhood far behind. The doorbell rang. It was two cute kids, their cute mom, and their 6’5” dad . . . holding out an enormous zucchini and other homegrown vegetables, sporting a T-shirt depicting fishing equipment and the message:

“Reel men play with their flies.”

The neighborhood welcome wagon! Are these our kind of people, or what?

But now Elkhorn people are getting ridiculed as rubes for opposing the annexation. Our public servants are getting bashed as being “unprofessional,” implying that they’ll lose their jobs.

Let me tell you about “unprofessional” public service.

Last weekend, we took Maddy to the Shrine Circus at the Civic Auditorium downtown, operated by the City of Omaha. I phoned ahead for three reserved seats at $11 each. With the order fees, it came to an astonishing $47.40 for the outing, not counting Maddy’s snow cone and cheesy lightsword. We got there at 3:55 for the 4 p.m. circus expecting to get right in . . . but we had to stand in line for 30 minutes. Why? Because the City of Omaha didn’t have a Will-Call set up. They had only three cashiers for the hordes of would-be circus goers.

Talk about a clown act.

Now contrast that with this: last month, I took Maddy to the very nice kiddie section of the Elkhorn Public Library. They give you service with a smile; you walk in and they greet you by name. Well, it was a snowy day, and I didn’t realize I’d left my library card there ‘til late that afternoon, when my doorbell rang . . . and the librarian handed it back to me.

With a smile.

We both smiled, in fact.

That’s “reel” public service. That’s how “reel” neighbors treat each other.

I can see why Omaha wants to bag us. We’ve got something they want. I just wish there were a way for us to tell them, “Go fish!”

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Prayer request: Regan, a little baby girl in Columbus, Neb., has died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), one of 2,500 victims each year in this nation of that hard-to-understand syndrome. Her parents, Lynn and Jason, are devastated, but relying on their strong Christian faith to pull through this trial. The local newspaper ran a heartbreakingly cute picture of the baby at Christmastime, in the arms of her two older sisters. Lord, we lift up this precious family and pray that their trust in You and the blessed hope of Your gospel will sustain them. (Colossians 1:5)