DailySusan Humor Blog

FLUFFY'S ESCAPE

My whole life passed before my eyes last night. Maddy came screaming: “FLUFFY’S GONE!!!”

It seems she had left her ever-expanding guinea pig on her bedroom floor as she went to brush her teeth and dawdle before bedtime. When she returned, the tri-toned Fluffington VanChocstraw had headed for the hills, or wherever. It was the first time the new little pet had ever made a break for it, and we were scared.

I had visions of a tiny, rough guinea pig tongue licking my face on my bed in the night.

I had visions of finding a chubby, furry body after the “spin” cycle in a load of whites.

I had visions of not finding her, and then, some time later, she would suddenly appear, with her few possessions in a bandana. She’d be kicked out of the toy trailer in which she’d shacked up with a shiftless escaped gerbil who drank too much and sat on his furry bottom watching NASCAR instead of industriously running on his wheel and stuff. Now she’d be expecting us to support her passel of out-of-wedlock mini-rodents, wanting them to call us “Grandma and Grandpa.”

POOF! My fears evaporated. Maddy found her under the bed.

The poor little thing was just as scared as we were. She ran right into her purple plastic igloo and starting making calls to set up her book deal on her big adventure.