DailySusan Humor Blog

ULTIMATE COLLEGE RECRUITING TRICK

Our good friend, teammate and All-State pitcher had a nice story about her in the sports section of the local daily. It came with a good picture of her delivering a mighty fastball, only the byline under the picture was wrong. It said it was by newspaper staffer, but my husband recognized it as one of his snapshots that we gave to her family. Oh, well.

Her name is Jenna Marston, and she’s in the throes of being recruited by colleges right now, a heady experience going into her senior year in high school. She has already had some attractive offers and is looking for more. She was the pitcher for our daughter’s summer team, and I produced a media guide that several dozen college coaches picked up over the course of the summer, especially to look at Jenna. She’ll take all the media she can get, to increase her chances of more good offers.

I have a scheme for getting her the maximum amount of media attention: the David Letterman Show.

You know how they always have that “stupid headline” feature? Well, there was nothing wrong with Jenna’s story and headline. But right next to it, there was a giant ad for Creighton University’s new soccer complex. They wanted people to come and select where they would like their season tickets to be. But they came up with an unfortunate headline:

“PICK YOUR SEAT NIGHT.”

Ewwwwww!

But if that crude and corny joke could get on national TV as David Letterman holds it up for the camera, and some coach somewhere would see Jenna’s picture taken by an unnamed but talented photographer, track her down, and offer her a full ride to come and play ball . . . it’d be worth the 37-cent stamp.

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Prayer request: Lord, we lift up my mother’s adorable cousin Roger, who is recovering from triple-bypass heart surgery in an Omaha hospital. Lord Jesus, grant this kind, gentle believer rest and recuperation, and give his wife Linda peace and comfort. Inspire his countless friends to let him know how much they care. Help my famous home-grown pickled beets, the world’s best heart-patient medicine, be a big hit. (Isaiah 32:17)