DailySusan Humor Blog

BOOTIES, RATTLES AND . . . ????

Most of the glunk was uprooted from the bowels of our basement and pawned off on the unsuspecting public with not one but two garage sales this past summer. However, a few remaining useful items have been unearthed.

One is a blue plastic baby bathtub, the kind that fits in your sink. You cradle the newborn’s head with one hand while you apply soap with the other hand, squeeze out the washcloth with the OTHER hand, shampoo the little bald head with the OTHER, wrap the baby in a towel with the OTHER . . . those early months of motherhood make you feel like one of those Hindu goddesses, with all the arms coming and going.

Anyway, I had been meaning to drop it off at the home of our dear neighbors who are going to become first-time grandparents this fall. Maddy and I were out for a walk when this neighbor drove by, so we hurried back into the house for it, planning to walk over and present it.

“It’s for the new baby,” I told Maddy, who was looking at it inquisitively, obviously unaware that she used it for the first few months of her life.

“For the BABY?” Maddy scoffed. “A SNOWBOARD?!?!?!”

Well, the father is a Husker football player, and the mother is the record-holder for 3-pointers in the Nebraska State Girls Basketball Tournament . . . you figure any child of theirs is bound to be a good athlete. . . .

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Prayer request: A mass was recently discovered in one of the ovaries of Michelle, a wife and mother of two small children who has a heart of gold. It has grown from the size of a pea to the size of a baseball in just five weeks. She will have surgery this afternoon to remove her ovaries and determine whether cancer has indeed invaded her precious body. Savior Lord, we lift up her husband and children to You for tender care, and we pray for the best possible diagnosis and treatment plan to preserve Michelle’s life in abundance. Most of all, we pray that Michelle will have the faith to trust You. (Matthew 9:20)