DailySusan Humor Blog

JOKES, BECAUSE TGIF

From "Deadpan Humor" by Stephen Wright:

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- maybe twice.

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

They told me I was gullible . . . and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

One nice thing about egotists . . . they don't talk about other people.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

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Prayer request: I got a chance to visit one of my oldest and best friends the other day. We were in her adorable home, seeing her adorable mom and sister for the first time in years, and enjoying the next generation in that wonderful family and their scrapbooking, coyote-petting and frog-collecting capers. Thank You, Lord, for weaving our lives together across the decades. Of all the joys You give, few compare to the face of a beloved friend. (John 15:13)