DailySusan Humor Blog

WINDFALLS AND ICE CREAM CONES

Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness.
-- Proverbs 8:18

I don’t know what it is with my husband and Automatic Teller Machines. When they first came out, we were teenage sweethearts. We went to a brand-new ATM.

He put his card in and requested his bank balance. It came back: ‘’$2,500.’’

WHOA! He thought he had, maybe, $25 in there. Obviously, they still had some bugs to work out.

He’s an honest guy, so we went inside and requested the balance again from the teller.

This time, it came back: ‘’$25,000.’’

WOW!!!

Vice presidents’ heads popped out of offices. They gathered, consulted, and had the teller do it one more time.

It came back: ‘’$25,000,000.’’

My husband asked casually, ‘’May I have a withdrawal slip?’’

But darn, they straightened it out, and he really only had $25. He says now that it was all just a trick, to impress me with his dazzling resources.

But I got him back on a hot summer night years later.

We had loaded up the kids to go get ice cream cones. But we didn’t have any cash. So we went to the ATM.

What to our wondering eyes should appear in the slot but a $20 bill! The person before us must have left it by mistake. There was no one in sight. The bank was closed.

A little bitty white angel popped out on my husband’s right shoulder. ‘’Turn in the money to the bank tomorrow morning.’’

A little bitty red devil, though, popped out on his LEFT shoulder. ‘’To ____ with THAT! You snooze, you lose! Take the money and run!’’

He reached for it, gleefully.

‘’HEY!!!!!!’’ I protested. ‘’Let’s wait a minute and see if they come back.’’

We did. They didn’t.

I still protested: ‘’That’s probably some poor single mother’s grocery money for the week! Maybe it’s for her dying grandma’s medication!’’

He stuffed the $20 into his wallet. ‘’Naw, whoever left it there must be so loaded they didn’t even miss it. They’re probably on their way to the boats or something.’’

He zoomed off, whistling, ‘’We’re In the Money.’’

I kept whining, all the way. ‘’They’re probably back there right now, in tears, searching the bushes and the median!’’

He kept grinning. ‘’Naw, I just taught ‘em a LESSON. They’ll be more CAREFUL next time.’’

We got to the ice cream shop. He went in. I sat in the car with the kids and stewed. I watched him through the glass, all jolly.

An older lady pulled up in the next stall. She looked like a sport. We conspired.

She went in and stalked right up to him. He turned toward her, smiling pleasantly.

She said something.

I watched his jaw drop, his eyebrows rise, and his shoulders lean toward her in disbelief.

It was exquisite. Here’s what she said:

‘’I SAW YOU TAKE THAT MONEY! IT WAS FOR FOOD FOR MY BABY! NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEED MY BABY?!?!?’’

It took him a few seconds of high-speed brain processing to realize that she was 70 years old . . . with no baby in sight . . . and she was by now laughing hysterically.

He turned around to see us in helpless hysterics, too. He pointed, and grinned.

He paid for her cone, too, and left the change as a huge tip for the counter person. So everybody was happy.

That ice cream tasted like a million bucks. No, $25 million!

Now, I suppose a spiritual perfectionist would have left the money there. But he was an honest, hardworking husband and father. Who’s to say HE didn’t need that $20 boost more?

You never know, with God’s economy.

Maybe it was meant to be: a little reward, a double-dip of fun for a guy who could’ve been elsewhere, but he chose to be with his wife and kids that night.

That’s why the ATM camera always shows me smiling when I drive up. I’m ready for anything. You just never know when it’s your turn to get . . . pennies from heaven.

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Prayer request: We are delighted beyond measure to learn that the beloved bride and groom for whom Maddy was the delirious flower girl are expecting their first child! Father, bless the health and fortunes of Jessie and Chad through this pregnancy, delivery and throughout their Christ-centered lives. (Psalm 127:3-4)