DailySusan Humor Blog

OLD BEIGE

I’m starting an international contest for the most boring household cleaning task, and I think I have a winner. No, it’s not scouring the drip pans, or scooping out the fireplace ashes. It’s . . . drum roll, please . . . cleaning out the garage refrigerator!

Like a lot of Americans, we remodeled our kitchen several years ago. But we couldn’t part with Old Beige. It still works great, even if it looks embarrassingly “so, so ‘70s.” So we put it out in the garage as a party overflow fridge and extra meat freezer.

I don’t think it has been thoroughly cleaned out for six or seven years. So this weekend was D-Day: Defrost, De-Food, and Disinfect. Do you know how many removable parts there are in one simple little fridge? There were some foil-wrapped turkey legs, unidentifiable leftover casseroles in Cool Whip containers, and other artifacts of undiscernible origin.

Feels great to have it cheerfully empty and sparkling clean again. Now my exotic, thrill-a-minute life story can turn the page to the next exciting chapter . . . until seven years roll by again, and it’s time to revisit Old Beige.