DailySusan Humor Blog

THE LOUISIANA REPURCHASE

Got another silly email that reported that President Bush sold the State of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000. Well, it’s an idea. It went on:

“This is a bold step forward for America,” said Bush. “And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Shiraq, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.”

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

“Jack understands full well that this one’s a ‘fixer upper,’” said Bush. “He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Jack’s assured me, if it’s not right, they’re going to fix it.”

The move has been met with incredulity from the already beleaguered residents of Louisiana. “Shuba-pie!” said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. “Frafer-perly yom kom drabby sham!”

However, President Bush’s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans. “This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we’ve just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.”

“This is indeed a smart move,” commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. “Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we’ve made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.

”The money gained from “The Louisiana Refund” is expected to be immediately pumped back into the rebuilding of Iraq.

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Prayer request: Father, when terrible things happen to people, we pray that victims remember they can still trust in You nevertheless. Devout Christians who are dear friends of friends of mine were devastated Friday evening when their 25-year-old son was killed in a motorcycle accident in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. To make matters worse, nine years ago their other son died in a freak accident. He was riding on the hood of a friend’s car when somehow he lost his balance, fell and struck his head on the ground, killing him. So now the parents, Bill and Cathy, are alone. Lord Jesus, show Your goodness to their souls and soothe and reassure them that they will see their boys again in paradise. (Lamentations 3:25)