Monday, April 25, 2005

A HUSBAND'S OTHER DREAM

The other day, we heard about a talkative appendectomy patient who was finally stifled by an anesthesiologist’s swift and firm application of a gas mask. We agreed that a technological breakthrough that would instantly quiet a talkative wife was a husband’s dream.

Well, mine came home over the weekend with another one: he is going all out training our hunting dog, and now he has gotten her a SHOCK COLLAR.

I can see it now. He’ll put a few diamonds on one as a disguise, give it to me, and:

“Leftovers for dinner AGAIN?” ZZZZZAP!

“You spent HOW much at the garden store?” ZZZZZAP!

“You FORGOT to get the oil changed . . . since 2001?” ZZZZZAP!!!!!

Don’t feel sorry for me. I can’t wait to put one of my own . . . on the remote.

Ancient golf reruns, huh? ZZZZZAP!

Cheesy war movies? ZZZZZAP!

Talking heads on Fox, when a great movie with Mel or Kevin is on the other channel? ZZZZZAP!!!!!

This could get addictive: dueling electrodes. The real shock will be what we could spend on batteries.

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Prayer request: I have a couple of important meetings this week that could help me make a longtime dream come true. Father, I ask in Jesus’ Name that the counsel I receive be wise and insightful. May Your creativity and practicality guide their words and help me see how to get where I want to go. (Isaiah 30:21)

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