DailySusan Humor Blog

THRIFTY, EFFICIENT HUNTER: ‘SGOTTA BE A GAL

My beloved has been paging through an immense catalog of hunting accessories. It’s been hard to keep a straight face as he exclaims over the wide, wide world of available hunting stuff:

A goose decoy with a magnet in it that makes it wobble as if swimming!

A fake haystack in which hunters can hide! How did we ever get along without one?

A duck blind that looks just like a camo coffin; the lid flies off and the gun-wielding hunter erupts out of it, like a ghoul in a “B” movie.

With all this gear, I believe we could win the war on terrorism, oppression and world hunger in one long weekend. We’d just fly in all these hunters and their accessories to war-torn, Third World countries and the bad guys would lay down their weapons. Not because of fright – because they’d be laughing so hard.

You don’t need all those dang accessories for hunting success, anyway. One time, the husband of a friend of mine went hunting with his buds for the day. She and their son drove down to her parents’ farm near Syracuse, Neb. On the way, a pheasant flew out in front of their vehicle and "poof!” Feathers everywhere.

She told her hubby about it when they got home and . . . you guessed it . . . she was the only one who got anything that day.

Who needs accessories? We ladies can bag ‘em without even trying.

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Prayer request: There’s a very sweet daughter caring for a very sweet mother, nearly 90, who is in ailing health. We praise You and thank You, Lord, that they were able to spend a lot of the Christmas and New Year’s weekends together, just being close. Gently lift Helen to Yourself in Your good timing, Lord, and thank You for being JoAnn’s stronghold for the parting that is soon to happen. (Nahum 1:7)