DailySusan Humor Blog

DUELING GRANDJO’S

Jaci Jean Sievers was born at 4:45 p.m. Wednesday. Her big, strong father Chad bounced down the hall like Tigger to tell his parents and in-laws of her arrival. A second later, they heard her beautiful, lusty cry.

Both brand-spankin’ new grandmothers immediately burst into tears.

They’re good friends, and I just know they will avoid that unhealthy competition and jealousy that can crop up between grandmas.

You know: ‘’Duelin’ Grandjo’s.’’

They compete with each other, taking turns giving gifts and providing services, with maneuvers, manipulations and escalations that make the Cold War between the U.S. and the Soviet Union look like Sunday School:

Grandma A: Here’s a sleeper!

Grandma B: Here’s a bunny!

A: Here’s a bib! It’s appliquéd!

B: Here’s a bath towel – with her first monogram!

A: Here’s a week’s worth of dinners for your freezer!

B: Here’s a year’s worth of maid service!

A: A pair of booties – I knit them myself!

B: An afghan – I made it myself out of the very best South American llama wool. I paddled there in my own canoe to gather it myself and spoke lovingly to the llamas as I sheared off their wool.

Getting the idea? Whoaaaaaaaa.

But that won’t happen with Jaci Jean’s grannies. They’re going to work in tandem . . . a perfect duet. Why? Because Jaci’s daddy is a great athlete -- a Cornhusker football player who now can play in Saturday’s Oklahoma game without worrying about the impending birth. He’s a linebacker, and he doesn’t let any strife and trouble get past him.

And Jaci’s MOMMY is a ALSO a star athlete. Not only that, she lifts weights. She was strong BEFORE childbirth. Now, she’s going to be INVINCIBLE, even to the craftiest of grandjo’s. She won’t put up with stuff like that.

Jaci will probably do her share of droolin’ – but among her grannies, there won’t be any . . . duelin’.

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Praise reports: Thank You for the happy, healthy births of TWO baby girls, Lord! Bless little Margaret (Meg) and bless Jaci Jean. Give their moms and dads comfort and strength, and show them how to lead their precious children to You. (Psalm 121:5)

Prayer request: Another precious girl, Cori, is struggling right now, Father. Six months ago, she was driving a car which got in a wreck and two of her best friends were killed. Such a brief, momentary lapse . . . and yet a lifetime of sorrow and pain. Lord God, Father of mercy, we plead the Blood of Jesus Christ of Nazareth over her head and heart, reminding her that You are within her and living through her. We know You will not allow the spirits of accusation, isolation, depression and self-loathing to linger in her person for one more instant. In the Name of Jesus, toss them out, and replace them with peace, comfort, patience and love as You send loving friends and good experiences her way. Restore her weary parents and family, and point them toward the future with hope. (Matthew 11:28,29)