DailySusan Humor Blog

A WHIFFLE BAT BEATING BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

My neighbor is an animal lover, so when she saw a large bird thrashing around by the side of the busy road not far from home one day during rush hour, she pulled over to see if she could help.

A big snake was wrapped around a red-tailed hawk! It was trying to choke it!

Shaken, she called her husband. “YOU’VE GOT TO RUSH OVER HERE AND GET THIS SNAKE OFF THIS POOR HAWK!!! AAAIIIEEE!!!”

Equally shaken, he ran around the house looking for a suitable weapon or implement. All he could find was a yellow whiffle ball bat.

He pulled up behind her on the shoulder of the busy road, and set to work BEATING on the snake that was on the hawk that was thrashing around. It was a sight. And it wasn’t doing a bit of good; the snake just wrapped on tighter, and the hawk thrashed around even more wildly, thinking that now it was under attack from another villain on top of the snake.

Lo and behold, a huge truck pulled up – SCREEEECH! – and out popped a heavily-muscled Wonder Woman from the Raptor Recovery team. My friend had called them, too, you see. She gave my neighbor man a withering look, decrying the pointlessness of his whiffle bat pounding strategy, and strapped on enormous leather gloves. She marched right up, entangled the two animals with her biceps rippling, threw the snake in the brush, and took the hawk to the big bird animal emergency center.

My neighbors were planning to visit it, but after five days, it died. But hey – at least they tried, and I can’t stop smiling over what the hundreds of people who drove by on that busy road must have thought was going on.