DailySusan Humor Blog

GROWN-UP FUN WITH THE CANNIBAL KING

I was telling Eden, our new high-school graduate, about our adults-only vacation at a lake house in Missouri. Our last evening was so different than our everyday lives. We actually had a full hour to get ready to go out instead of a three-ring circle of babysitter pick-ups, ringing phones, small fires to put out in the living room, and so forth.

I had time to touch up my toenail polish, and even took the luxury of using the medium speed on the blow-dryer instead of my usual hurry-up thermonuclear blast. It was wonderful.

We enjoyed an elegant stand-up cocktail party with old and new friends in the gorgeous home of some empty-nesters. There was nary a toy in sight, nor an isolated Lego underfoot.

We took a wine-and-cheese sunset cruise to our dinner destination. The waiter was really sharp, and memorized all 14 dinner orders without writing a thing down. To tease him, we all switched seats. But it didn’t phase him a bit. He placed all 14 dinners in front of the right people. We were amazed.

We cruised home under the stars, and went in for a nightcap. Miraculously, the hostess had a crystal cocktail shaker and martini glasses. So we made an assembly line, and fixed something extraordinary: chocolate martinis.

Eden’s face was rapt as she listened to the details.

Then I told how the evening ended. “And THEN we sang our favorite camp songs. You know: “The cannibal king / with the big nose ring / fell in love with the dusky mai – AI -- aid / and every night / by the pale moonlight / sounded like this to me – EE – ee: / Barroomp! Barroomp! Barroomp bah dee ahh dee ai – AI – ai!! . . . .”

Eden made a funny face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Well, I was just sitting here so happy that you got to experience such a sophisticated, cultured evening,” she said. “I was kind of looking forward to my own adult social life. But somehow, the ‘cannibal king’ song. . . .”

Just because our generation knows how to relax with style! I’ll have to show her the section on cannibal lifestyles in Town and Country magazine.