DailySusan Humor Blog

The Quilting Bee Called ‘Motherhood’

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. . . .
-- Titus 2:3

My mother-in-law is coming home soon, after wintering in California. I was thinking of her return as I served breakfast the other day to Maddy, 4.

‘’Gammy’s coming home in a few days,’’ I said.

‘’I NEED A DRINK!!!’’ Maddy exclaimed.

She seized her cup of milk and took a mighty swig.

I sat shocked, then laughed. I bet Gammy’ll think it’s as funny as I do.

We’re pretty typical. We’ve motored quite a ways on the road of life by now, and we’ve had some blowouts. A few filter changes and lube jobs have been required en route.

But I can’t imagine life without her.

It’s the same with my husband and my mother. Once, Mom had a dozen golf balls made for him with a photo of her face. My husband loved taking out his biggest, baddest driver and whacking ‘em with glee.

Another time, Mom wrote home from a trip to Europe that she had visited a ‘’medieval torture museum,’’ and Dave said knowingly, ‘’I bet she gave them LOTS of ideas.’’

This high humor goes both ways, too. Our mothers-in-law would claim honorary degrees for ‘’Lifetime Achievement in Tongue Biting.’’ They’d say they’ve used up several blindfolds, corks and earplugs apiece.

The thing is, they love us. They help us. That’s what counts.

They’re older women and they’re indispensable.

Their advice, their remedies, their recipes, their babysitting, their gifts . . . where WOULD we be without them? Their admonishments and criticisms, too. We often need them even more than the goodies.

When you’re rearing children, it’s like an old-fashioned quilting bee. Just as a woman would invite friends over to work on a quilt together in the olden days, a mother invites certain people -- many of them older women -- to help her ‘’work on’’ herself and her children.

Sometimes, yes, the needle goes in a little deep. But sometimes, it has to, to bring things together.

Each person is like a quilt patched by many hands. You supply the raw material, and the older women supply knowhow and a few deft stitches. Each adds some direction, some flourish, color, the patching of holes, a little lace, interesting patterns, the mending of what’s crooked.

It’s amazing how much better the task goes when you accept help and diverse ideas.

Best of all, the finished product -- quilt or person -- is better, stronger and more beautiful because of so many helping hands. Especially older, wiser ones.

So now, all of a sudden, the mirror says I AM one of those ‘’older women.’’ I can either drive younger people to drink . . . or help them make a masterpiece out of the fabric of their lives.

I hope it’s the latter. That’s what the world needs. A beautiful example of it unfolded before my eyes in a west Omaha home last week.

You see, two teenagers from our high school were killed in a tragic car accident. A third, the driver, is OK, thank God. She is a dear friend of my daughter, and her mother is a dear friend of mine.

It was a chance to coach Eden in how to respond to life’s traumas. We went over there with cookies, flowers and letters of love. What did we find?

A human quilting bee. I mean, the place was softly buzzing with love and support. Older women were encircling the grieving family, encouraging them, hugging them, listening to them, loving them . . . taking shattered shreds and piecing them back together into a strong, new whole.

Mothering them.

That’s love. That’s how it looks and sounds.

It was as if a giant human comforter of caring friends was softly enfolding the whole house, expanding as more and more people came forward to help any way they could. I’m sure it was the same way in the other two homes -- blanketed with compassion.

Older women, doing what they do best:

Sharing the Father’s love . . . with a mother’s beautiful touch.

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Prayer request: Lord, we lift up mothers who have lost their children, and children who have lost their mothers, in the past year, for Your special love and grace this Mother’s Day. We thank You for the long, happy lives of two special grandmothers, Esther and Blossom, who recently passed away. We ask for comfort for Brenda and Mary, who lost their mothers recently. And we join in prayer for the mothers of these teenagers who have passed away recently in our community: Cara, Nate, Nick and Kayla. Be with those dear women, Lord, and thank You for sending them comforters and encouragers. (1 Peter 1:6,7)

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Susan Darst Williams, http://www.DailySusan.blogspot.com, is a writer, wife and mother of four who lives at the base of Mount Laundry, Nebraska. Copyright 2004.