DailySusan Humor Blog

MR. AND MRS. SURVIVOR

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
-- Colossians 3:18,19

The mother of the flower girl (that’s me) and the mother of the bride (my dear friend) were over by the buffet table (not surprising) at a swank event.

I decided to serve myself some sweet tea from a tall glass carafe. It had this brass flange with a deal you screw open to get the tea to pour out the spigot. I have one just like it.

Mine, you can unscrew all day. Theirs, however, took only a couple of little twists and . . .

FLOOP!

The screwy deal plopped off and dropped down to the bottom of my glass.

Tea cascaded out of the spigot, quickly overflowing that glass, running down the wooden antique table and splattering onto the expensive parquet floor. My mouth formed a perfect ‘’O.’’

I tried to dam the dike with my finger. Tea just sprayed.

I tried to fish the screwy deal out of the bottom of the glass. Ice blocked the way.

I put another glass under the stream, which quickly filled. There I was, holding two filled glasses, a pinkie attempting to block the spray outward, and a continuing stream of tea spilling onto the floor, feeding an ominously-growing puddle.

The mother of the bride to the rescue!

Her mouth also forming a perfect ''O'' in solidarity, she snatched my two full glasses and gave me two empty ones to catch tea. She lurched over to the sink, dumped the tea out, recovered the dealy, and rushed it back.

We were like Lucy and Ethel gobbling candy on the too-fast assembly line. We finally got the dealy back on and the deluge stopped, then ran for towels.

Then we stood there in our drenched party outfits, wondering how so much that was utterly unexpected and out of our control had happened so fast and made such a big mess. And then, of course, we laughed.

And it hit me:

THAT’S JUST LIKE MARRIAGE!

Be ready for anything . . . work fast . . . keep friends close . . . try something else if the first idea doesn’t work . . . and when you’re all wet, admit it, and smile.

It was a great object lesson for this Saturday’s bride and groom, our beloved Jessie Runty and Chad Sievers. But they’re great people. This is one of those marriages that you just KNOW will survive.

Yes, Maddy will be the flower girl. Our only worry is that she has been to a lot of her sister’s softball games recently. We’re afraid she’s going to be hurling those flower petals around with her fastball, slider and knuckleball.

It’s been a lot of fun, being included in this wedding and all the preparations. I’ve been busy collecting advice for marital bliss:

For Chad: ‘’Jewelry! Jewelry! Jewelry!’’

For Jessie: ‘’Husbands have three moods: hungry, happy and hor . . . uh, that is, amorous.’’

For both: ‘’Never go to bed angry. Work your problems out as they come up. Don’t let them fester.’’

For Chad: ‘’Expect problems and trials, and deal with them together. You’ll end up loving each other more.’’

For Jessie: ‘’Divide all forms of bad news, including prices of things, in half. THEN tell him.’’

For both: I asked a couple who’ve been married for 36 years for their advice. Simultaneously, he said, ‘’Total honesty!’’ while she said, ‘’What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!’’

But the bride herself summed it up best. I asked Jessie what was the best advice she’d received. Without hesitation, she said, ‘’To keep Jesus at the center of our lives.’’

Wow. That’s it. That’s how to make a marriage not only survive, but thrive.

Live happily ever after, you two. It’s a privilege to be among your witnesses, hurling flower girl and all.

There’ll be plenty of liquid spraying around, just like our catastrophe with the sweet tea the other night. Only these will be tears . . . tears of joy.

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Prayer request: We ask for Your tender blessings and GOOD WEATHER for this precious wedding, Father, and for Jessie and Chad’s happily married life, forever and ever. (1 Corinthians 13:13)