DailySusan Humor Blog

A DIFFERENT KIND OF AIRPLANE TERROR

Whoa! The terrorism news was scary yesterday. We know lots of people who need to take airplanes in the next few days. This is not good.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going . . . for an hour-long spa pedicure complete with hot wax treatments, foot massage, and mango daiquiris (alcohol-free, of course, and to drink, not pour on our feet). Yes, it was a mother-daughter summer swan song, as our daughter is returning to college for her senior year.

We discussed the latest terrorism news, and then the young pedicurist mentioned the most terrible thing that ever happened to her on an airplane:

It was a rough ride. She became nauseated. She reached for the paper bag. She shoved her hand inside to kind of pop it open.

It wasn’t empty.

AAAIIIEEE!!!!!!! It must have been used on a previous flight, and no one disposed of it. She was totally freaked out and couldn’t move ‘til they touched ground again.

If any al-Qaida or Hibz’allah dudes ever make it onto an airplane I’m on, I’m going to be hoping bigtime that the stew was a slacker like that, and they freak out and can’t go through with whatever their evil plan is.

If not, I’ll just kick ‘em where it hurts, hard, with my gorgeous, revitalized, all-American, pretty-in-pink piggies.