DailySusan Humor Blog

N.U. COACH SEARCH LACKS A WOMAN’S TOUCH

I can solve the whole problem with the University of Nebraska’s embarrassing, extended search for a new football coach. GET A WOMAN TO DO IT!

Hasn’t Athletic Director Steve Pederson acted so, so much like a man? Bull-headedly careening to and fro on candidates, suffering a major media whoopsie about his plans to fire former coach Frank Solich, getting turned down for the job at a reported salary of more than $2 million and if that isn't bad enough it was by an Arkansas yahoo named “Nutt,” and all the time deliberately ignoring the obvious good solution.

Men. When they’re in testosterone mode, they often screw things up.

Women, on the other hand, don’t HAVE a testosterone mode. We don't have TIME.

A woman would have asked Bo Pelini to become head coach ‘way back when, and settled it. By now, the recruiting season would be humming along with all our ducks in a row. And a female athletic director would be sitting back, looking decisive and eating bon-bons, rather than agonizingly twisting in the wind, which is what Pederson’s doing.

On the other hand, Pederson was in my baby brother's fraternity at UNL, Delta Upsilon. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the one who thought up the funny slogan on the tailgate napkins they had: “ADVANCE LARGE CRIMSON.” Who knew that’d apply to our CHEEKS one day?

Bottom line, though: he's a stand-up guy who deserves the benefit of the doubt, that he’ll eventually get this right.

So here’s a surefire tip, Steve. You know that Lincoln woman who got in trouble recently for posting nudie pictures of herself on a website? If she would represent the university in a coach-hiring capacity, then no matter WHO she talked to, they'd HAVE to accept and at a bargain-basement price . . . or otherwise spend the rest of their life trying to 'xplain to the wife just 'xactly what they were doing talking to that Nebraska nudist gal.

Hey . . . desperate times, desperate tactics!

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Prayer request: A longtime friend of a dear cousin in Arizona is fighting cancer. The friend, Del, has a husband in the throes of Alzheimer’s who would be lost without her. At Christmas, she started hemorrhaging and had to be rushed to the emergency room. She repeats over and over that she is in God's hands and has no fear. But Lord, we join our hearts in prayer for blessing and healing for Del so that she can continue to glorify You and minister to her husband and many friends. (Numbers 12:13)