Tuesday, February 16, 2010

MAYBE THE KID
DOESN'T NEED COACHING

Maddy, 9, was telling how a girl in her fourth-grade classroom has been snipping at her. The girl is a little bossy and it probably comes from low self-esteem. So we were trying to coach Maddy on how to respond with kindness and understanding, while still being assertive enough to stand up for herself.

We told her that the No. 1 no-no in that situation is to be mean BACK. Leadership requires restraint. When you are unfairly criticized, don't ever retaliate, we told her. That's dragging yourself down to the other person's level.

I showed her that old trick, that when you point the finger at someone, three more point back at you, indicating that you're guilty of the same things, triply as much.

Her face brightened immediately into a huge grin.

She pointed her finger at me and exulted:

"YOU'RE AWESOME!!!"

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