CHRISTMAS WRAPPING BY CANDLELIGHT -- AHH, THE QUAINT DELIGHTS OF THE SEASON -- NOT!

If my loved ones wonder why they are getting a pink ribbon on their package wrapped with green and black wrapping paper, the answer is a major blizzard-related power outage at our house today.

It lasted from O Dark Thirty until 8:30 p.m. Yes, it got cold, but compared to what people have gone through lately in Hurricane Sandy and other disasters, it wasn't that big of a deal.

I had dozens of presents to wrap, and this afternoon had to be "it." So I brought downstairs three candles, one lantern, and several flashlights to the faithful pingpong table that has been Wrap Central for 25 years. Like a determined prairie woman improvising out of necessity, I wrapped all afternoon in the semi-darkness. It was kind of fun, and definitely a first. I amused myself by making up silly new lyrics to my favorite Christmas carols: "Yet in thy dark basement shineth the everlasting Light. . . ."

BORED AT THE AIRPORT

DOGMATIC, BUT MEOW-VELOUS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbycvPwr1Wg

DEVIL DOG, DOCUMENTED

She ate a hole in the living room carpet, chewed two chair legs on my favorite Queen Anne, and terrorizes our older dog by running up behind her and thrusting her snout between her legs to hoist her onto her back.

DEVIL DOG!



Her rambunctiousness has even affected her big sister, Sunny Bone-O, otherwise the meekest, mildest dog on the planet.

But we love Maisy, who we call "Mai Mai," and enjoy doing that even more now that we know that means "little sister" in Chinese. Wonder how they say "Devil Dog"? Probably "Mai Mai," also.

THANKS AND PRAISE FOR THE ONE WHO WOULD NEVER 'UNFRIEND' YOU!

Happy Thanksgiving, you adorable turkey!!! :>)

Wishing you a delightful day focused on friends, family, food

and the Giver of all of the above!



SOMETHING NEW TO BE THANKFUL FOR

I was telling my dear friend how much I wanted everything to be really nice this Thanksgiving weekend, with the whole gang home for a rare treat. As busy as our young adults are, we only get one or two weekends a year with our whole family of nine together. I wanted them to make beautiful memories and remember the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of our home at its very best.

But there was one snag in this dream: our two Labradors, Sunny Bone-O and Maisy Mayhem. In the evening, they love to lay at our feet just as their dinners are digesting and . . . well . . . nature takes its aromatic course. Ewwww!!!!! Major buzz kill.

The culprits . . . last weekend, awaiting a hunting trip.

By habit, they leap into the car the minute they see the

camo stuff coming out so they won't be left behind.

But my wise friend to the rescue. "Don't you know about doggie fart pills?" she demanded. "Go get some at PetCo."

How far I've fallen! I used to get excited about the prospect of diamonds and pearls, a trip to Monte Carlo, a new Ferrari . . . but now the brightest star in my constellation of hope and enchantment is to know about doggie fart pills.

Oh, well: takes all kinds of blessings to make a happy and memorable Thanksgiving. And I'm already plotting how to sneak a few pills into my Beloved's milk to make our peace and contentment complete.

LONG LIVE TWINKIES!

In the wake of all the Hostess Ho-Ho hubbub, I was telling my dear friend about a nutrition speech I once attended. The speaker, a physician, listed the 10 biggest food no-no's. Of course, I was a "perp" in all 10 of them. I think he wanted us to eat nothing but seaweed burgers on kelp bread with a side of crunchy, natural crickets' legs, or some such ickiness.

One of his no-no's did strike home with me, though. It was about the preservatives in many snack foods. Do you REALLY want to put that stuff in your body? He told of cleaning out his garage one day and finding a package of Hostess Twinkies 'way back the corner on a long-forgotten shelf. It had to have been purchased before his nutritional epiphany. By his reckoning, the Twinkies must have been there for more than 20 years. But he could feel through the plastic packaging that the Twinkies were STILL SOFT!

My friend replied drolly, "And his point is . . . .? I'd say that's a pretty spectacular shelf life, the mark of a very good product!!!"

Ewwww! Then again, maybe the company could reinvent itself as a WRINKLE CREAM!!!

SUPER PREPPER -- READY TO SURVIVE FOR 100 YEARS

I've started to think about having a few extra food products on hand for long-term storage, just in case things go South in a bad way.

So I've started looking at expiration dates at the stuff in our (badly named) Lazy Susan. This one, on a can of cooking spray, made me smile. I'm all set for almost 100 years!

CAN A CHRISTIAN BE A DEMOCRAT?

A friend snapped this photo of a large sign in south Lincoln on the heavily traveled Saltillo Road at 21st Street:



It's on a shared road between two businesses. A spokesman for one of them said that his company didn't put up the sign and he doubted the other business put it up. He said he believes a farmer who also shares the road, and has put up pro-life signs in the past, put up the sign. The farmer couldn't be reached for comment.

The sign is apparently in response to the Democratic National Committee platform mandating that tax dollars pay for abortion and contraception. In some people's minds, abortion conflicts with the Bible's Sixth Commandment, Thou shalt not kill (Ex. 20:13). So if you're a Democrat, the thinking goes, you are violating the Bible, which Christ instructed people to obey.

In other people's minds, this sign is the height of intolerance, attempting to use a religious threat to influence political views and, most probably, votes.

So . . . what do YOU think?

NEBRASKA MEDICAID RECIPIENTS COULD FILL MEMORIAL STADIUM THREE TIMES OVER

Go Big Red Ink! As we focus on Saturday night's big game, Nebraska vs. Michigan, and also on the upcoming elections, consider the impact of the longtime weak economy on the cost of taxpayer-provided services such as Medicaid.

Joblessness, high prices and high taxes create more need for health care for low-income kids and adults, blind and disabled people, and the aged, when they can no longer care for themselves. The economy's stress shows most of all in statistics like Medicaid.

So get this: there are 235,354 Nebraskans receiving Medicaid benefits, according to the 2011 annual Medicaid report of the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services.

Think about it: Medicaid recipients would just about fill our gargantuan Memorial Stadium three times over.



For many years, everybody has giggled about the fact that, when the Huskers are playing at home, Memorial Stadium becomes the third-largest "city" in Nebraska, after Omaha and Lincoln.

Well, if the economy continues southward, and Medicaid numbers go up just a few ticks, the Medicaid population will outstrip Lincoln (258,379 in the 2010 Census).

Let's huddle -- taxpayers, politicians, bureaucrats, medical leaders. Let's elect political quarterbacks who can call new plays to turn this situation around. Let's get our economy back on track so we can all go, fight, win.

CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE EWING IS MISSING A GOLDEN OP

Why didn't John Ewing's campaign committee realize that the Omahan looks a lot like Dennis Haysbert, the State Farm ad guy, who played President Palmer in the hit series "24"?

Democrat Ewing, the Douglas County Treasurer, is challenging incumbent Republican Lee Terry for the 2nd Congressional seat.

It would've made a great campaign ad to have Ewing question a few of Terry's policies and then finish up with a dramatic, "Are you in good hands?"

Or push the "24" connection. If a Democrat can't ride the real President's coattails to victory this time, maybe a TV President will do.

Which is which?

A THREE-HOODIE EXPERIENCE

Last time our beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers played football, they did great in the first quarter, and then folded like a cardboard suitcase and lost to Ohio State by a whopping margin.

Turns out someone I know and love had her grandkids to a Burger King during that game, babysitting. She set them up with their burgers, fries and drinks right by the playground equipment. They commenced to dine. After a few minutes, she hopped up to go get another little cup of ketchup . . .

. . . and when she came back, the 4-year-old grandson was beet red and breathing hard . . .

. . . and as he began to retch, she hurriedly looked around for something to catch "it," and grabbed the hood of his hoodie . . .

. . . but after the first onslaught, he started to retch again, so she grabbed her granddaughter's hoodie . . .

. . . and then, third time's the charm, he retched once again, and the only thing left was HER hoodie . . . making for a rather unpleasant drive home, straight to the washing machine.

So it was a Three-Hoodie Experience, both for Grandma at the Burger King, and for us Cornhusker football fans, that night.

Here's hoping this weekend is a little better for us!

SPELL-CHECK CUISINE

A friend was trying to look up a recipe for "tostadas" but the spell-check mechanism on her computer kept changing it to "asbestos."

Ay, carumba! But her friends put her at ease, saying things like, "It just takes a lot of dip to make it taste good that way," and "Use a circular saw to cut your tortilla disks, and be sure to wear a mask."

I can relate. If I had a dime for every time someone said my meatloaf slices would make nice brick pavers. . . .

THE PUTT-PUTT ADVANTAGE

My favorite girl golfer hit her drive on a par 4 recently. But it happened to bounce down the cart path a lot farther than it would have rolled on the grass.

It bounced and ran downhill for a while, still on the cart path, picking up steam.

Finally, it struck the curb of the cart path and careened right onto the green. She was putting for eagle!

Ironically, she 3-putted from there. She still bogeyed the hole. But boy, it was fun to see the kind of structure that usually guides your ball toward the hole in mini-golf work to her advantage in the real thing!

I . . . KNOW . . . NOTHINK!

Did you see and hear that whole shelf of little mummies, ghosts, skeletons, witches and creepy crawlies at WalMart, mysteriously jiggling and dancing and making a lot of noise?

Maddy and I don't know a thing about it. :>)

SO MUCH EASIER TO RHYME THAN 'MULLET'

Made a collage today of newspaper photos and headline words all about the University of Nebraska football team. Sent it to a beloved young person who's stationed with the military overseas. He's missing all the action of the games, so hope this poster will cheer him up:

Favorite spot: in all different fonts, sizes and colors, I cut out letters to spell out"THROW TO THE FRO" -- a reference to wide receiver Kenny Bell. His Afro hairdo is cooped up and controlled inside his football helmet. But when he takes off his helmet, that 'fro is so big that it shades the entire South stadium.

Bell is a bell-ringer of a player for his team. That slogan is catchy! Hope it rings the chimes of that faraway football fan. His mission right now is much more serious than a football player's, but he loves that game and that team with all his heart. For his military service on our behalf, to us, he is also a . . . BIGWIG!!!

MAN BABIES

These are odd and disturbing, which is why I like them:

www.manbabies.com

A DIFFERENT KIND OF PODCASTING

The Bible speaks of "the day of the locusts." Well, it's the time of year of the locusts around here -- honey locust trees, that is. They're shedding their big, distinctive pods, bigtime.

We just drove under a shower of the brown pods falling from trees because of high winds. Apparently, one of them got stuck somehow in the undercarriage of my Mini Cooper. It was kind of like a playing card clothespinned onto bike spokes.

It was rattling around and making so much noise that I quipped, "We're PODCASTING!"

At the stop sign, we went five feet in reverse, and it fell out, no worse for wear. Didn't even say "Pod-on me." :>)

AT LAST! SOMEONE IN NEBRASKA WHO CAN TACKLE!

Not to diminish the poor lady's injuries, but . . . did you hear about the woman who sued the University of Nebraska after she had been tackled so hard by one or two other women at a ladies' "Intro to Football" event that her earrings flew off and she bonked her head, hard?

http://www.omaha.com/article/20120905/BIGRED/309059787

Heyyyyy! The Nebraska Cornhuskers could USE some strong tacklers. Our defenders sure didn't even come close to making any UCLA players' earrings fly off last weekend.

Maybe they should be recruiting at ladies' events like this, in the future. Gulp! :>)

IN FOOTBALL, AS IN LIFE, TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Wonder if it was just a coincidence, or a wise media buy:

Did you hear the ad for "suicide prevention" during the brutal post-game show on radio station KFAB, which covers Nebraska football, after the UCLA Bruins unexpectedly won, 36-30, dashing the high hopes of the long-suffering Nebraska fans?

If it was deliberate, then someone's wasting talents in the marketing business and should get involved in Vegas, STAT.

WHEN AN 'F' IS A GOOD GRADE

A man told an inspiring story in church today. He told how his life had come back together again, better than ever, after he went through a series of terrible things: a couple of deaths, job loss, home loss, divorce, and on and on.

He said the turning point was when he was in counseling with a minister, and confessed that he felt like he had a big "F" on his forehead -- "F" for "Failure."

But the minister corrected: "No, it's 'F' for 'Forgiven'!"

I was telling Maddy about it when she quickly interjected:

"Or 'F' for 'Effort'!"

Oh, these kids today . . . though I think a good self-image comes from that, too, and I think her humor made the Master smile a little bit.

AN ODD REFLECTION
ON 'WHAT ARE THE ODDS'?

This weird friend of mine had this observation:

"Wow! Almost lost my wife, my kids, and everything, due to my gambling addiction. Fortunately, I won them back on the next hand."

Sigh. Is that guy sane? Think that's a bad bet.

SWEEEEET ADVICE
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

Quoting my wise old friend:

"Sometimes you just have to eat a whole pie by yourself in order to show young people what's possible."

Strike that. Wise-GUY old friend. :>)

WAR OF THE WORLDS MOVIE,
BAD COLD COLLIDE

Bad coincidence last night:



The 1953 classic movie, "War of the Worlds," was on TV, and the man of the house had come down with a terrible chest cold.

"I'll get the vaporizer," I said.

Our daughter cringed. On the TV screen, "horrible" aliens were vaporizing defenseless human beings! "I mean, the humidifier," I quickly corrected. It's true that you have to ATTACK a cold . . . but not quite like THAT!

PRESIDENTS DAY SALE
HAS AMAZING OUTCOME

Quoting a friend:

"I took advantage of a great Presidents Day sale at the car lot. I got a new car for my husband. I was surprised they would give me that much for him."

Ba-boom CRASH!

ASKING AN 11-YEAR-OLD
TO JOIN THE AARP? AARP!!!

We're in mourning. Dori, our 6-year-old guinea pig, passed away unexpectedly last week. My Beloved was able to prepare the grave and bury the deceased under the big pine trees in the back yard before the 8" snowstorm. But there were still some tender emotions in the house.

Then Maddy, 11, came in with the mail. She was excited. She had gotten a letter! Well, what do you know: the American Association of Retired Persons was inviting her to join, and apply for a $50,000 group life insurance policy through New York Life.

"Listen!" Maddy exclaimed, reading the form letter aloud. "Life insurance can help your family with living expenses . . . or help pay bills you may leave behind, including medical costs, credit cards, loan balances, AND FUNERAL COSTS."

She looked up. "How did they find out about Dori?!?"

Oh, this junk mail . . . it will be the death of us all.

WHO KNEW? TOM HANKS' DAD
IS FAMOUS, TOO

Love this song. Love it more, now that I know that actor Tom Hanks' father is the lead singer! In the middle of this clip, he stands in profile and you can just SEE the resemblance. It's fun. Enjoy:

http://www.flixxy.com/the-diamonds-little-darlin-1957-2004..htm

KIDS RESIST GOING GREEN
WHEN IT'S VEGETABLES

A friend's 5-year-old son cracks me up. He told his mom that he HATED green beans, but ate them because he wanted her to be impressed.

Reminds me of Maddy at about that age. We tried to introduce her to artichokes. We oohed and ahhed as our teeth stripped the goodness off each artichoke leaf, exaggerating the delicious taste.

She sat there the whole time with a black unibrow, scowling at us ever more, the harder we tried to entice her into trying just one little bite.

Finally, she muttered, "That is NOT happening!"

FLIPPING HIM THE (BIRD) STARE
DOESN'T BRING IT BACK

What? You ate the last Girl Scout cookie?!?

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS,
PART II

Yesterday's volunteer trip into the wilds of a day-care center by middle-schoolers acting as reading mentors had many moments of comedy. Here's another one:

Maddy, age 11, was reading the profound classic, "Mr. Brown Can Moo," to five 3- and 4-year-olds. Halfway through, one of them interrupted her.

"What's your name?" he inquired.

"Maddy. What's yours?"

"I don't know. But he's Mason!" he replied, pointing to the boy next to him.

They are royalty in the Kingdom of Random.

KIDS ASK
THE DARNDEST QUESTIONS

Our middle school service learning club went into a day-care center this afternoon to read Dr. Seuss to the itty bitties. The "Book Buddies" had a great time. They were practically levitating with joy on the way home for how good it felt to give a little of their time to others, though the hour was loud, boisterous and wild, the room smelled faintly of diapers and the carpet underneath them was . . . damp. Ewww!

One sixth-grade girl reported this strange encounter with a 4-year-old, who asked her:

"What's your name?"

"Cassie."

"WHY?"

She was dumbfounded. He must've been in that phase little kids all go through, in which they incessantly ask "why?"

All she could do was laugh . . . and of course, THEN he asked her why she was LAUGHING . . . and she just said it was because the book she was reading them was funny . . . and THEN he asked her WHY. . . .

T.G.I.F.!
THAT'S MADDY, AT RIGHT, WITH
HER GOOD FRIEND. NEVER A DULL TWEENER MOMENT!

THE BRITS ARE BLOODY FUNNY;
WANT ADS DON'T WANT FOR HUMOR

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!



FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.



FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.



COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.



JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.



WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.



**** And the WINNER is... ****



FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

THOSE MUG MAKERS NEED TO K.I.S.S.:
KEEP IT SIMPLE, SILLY

A buddy of mine got a new coffee mug from somewhere. He finally realized the irony of the printing on this mug.

It reads:

SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY

For some amount of time, he has been drinking his coffee out of that mug, and it never dawned on him 'til yesterday that the mug itself is hypocritical.

If you were REALLY trying to exhort people to simplify, you would only have that word on there ONCE. So what was their point by having it twice -- that when you TRY to simplify your life, you invariably end up COMPLICATING it more?

It's enough to mess with your mind. Gimme that mug. I NEED A DRINK!

MICRO-MINI KANGAROO:
AND YOU THOUGHT KIDS WERE HYPER

Here's a couple of jerboas -- cute little desert rodents. They're moving around faster than my eye can watch. Reminds me of kids getting ready for school in the morning:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7uw5HLMuP0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

CATTY-CAKE, CATTY-CAKE,
MEOW-VELOUS REPARTEE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3iFhLdWjqc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

HONK IF YOU THINK
THEIR GOOSE IS COOKED

Ah, the weird sights you see out in the community on a sunny day. Guess this driver needed to de-liver a lot of de-coys. Either that, or all these geese went out on the town and were now so stiff and hung over, they piled into the back to sleep it off:

TGIF: BABY ELEPHANT BATH
WITH A MATCHING SONG

This adorable video:

cries out to be watched while listening to this adorable Henry Mancini song, “Baby Elephant Walk”:

http://www.last.fm/music/Henry+Mancini/_/Baby+Elephant+Walk
(note: hit the 30-second preview)

I don't know how to merge them, but sure enjoy them even separately.

Must keep this from Maddy or sure as shootin', she'll start clamoring for a pet baby elephant. We've got enough pooper-scooping around these parts as it is, with two dogs, a cat and a guinea pig.

WHOLE LOT OF GOOD EATS
BUT PUTS A 'WHOLE' IN YOUR WALLET

A very dear friend hosted me for lunch at her house today, and served gorgeous, yummy selections from the Whole Foods market near her home. She loves it and goes there darned near every day.

The salad had super-duper lettuce, kale, pumpkin seeds, and all kinds of organic delights, and there were cold, fat shrimp that I'm sure were raised ethically, multiculturally and cage-free.

The only down side is that, yep, all this excellent, delicious and nutritious stuff costs money.

That's why her husband calls it "Whole Paychecks."

A PROFOUND CASE
OF 'LABRADORICAL DEPRESSION'

Yesterday's weather was beautiful. Aha! A chance to finally, finally plant those fat, quality spring bulbs that I ordered last October. Our daughter had planted some in her fiance's yard, and my favorite preschool planted more, but I still had probably $30 or $40 worth in the garage that I never got around to getting under a soil blanket last fall.

Garden Procrastination Queen that I am, I've done this before, and knew they'd come up if I could get them in the ground before a hard freeze. And one was a'comin'.

So out I went to the garden, with bulbs, bone meal and some quality compost:

Just a couple of hours later, I ventured outside again . . . and found that a mini-mountain of fresh dirt and scattered bulbs were all over the driveway!

That renegade 1-year-old Labrador retriever, Maisy "Mayhem" Williams!!!

I ranted and raved . . . but this is not the first time she has done this. Ah should've knowed better.

Oh, well. Always wanted to try "forcing" bulbs. Now's my chance!

And who could stay mad at this face for long:

GOOD THING
DOGS ARE BONEHEADS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9UQSUHHdtA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

MYSTERIOUS TV SCREEN
PROMPTS CHEESY RETORT

We got a snazzy new TV and accessories for Christmas. My Beloved and daughter worked with the delivery people to set it all up. Because I am Madame Untechie, I had never so much as turned it on over the holidays. Guess what? Today's TV's are more complicated than a nuclear power station's operational protocol. Finally, yesterday, I tried to turn it on, with our daughter's help.

The opening screen looked something like this:

"Hmm. That looks like the inside of a piano," I ventured.

"What did you THINK it was, a HAMBURGER?" our 11-year-old retorted.

Yes, eventually, I stopped laughing and got the thing turned on. That kid's cheekiness is . . . a whopper.

GOOD THING THEY DIDN'T CONFISCATE
HIS BREADSTICK NUN-CHUCKS, TOO

A 10-year-old boy got in big trouble at school for nibbling his piece of pizza at lunchtime into the shape of a gun, and then pointing it at his classmates:

http://www.infowars.com/boy-disciplined-for-waving-pizza-gun/

My Beloved, on the way out the door to go shoot sporting clays, was philosophical about this latest nonsensical use of "zero tolerance" policies in schools.

He asked, "What ammo was he using? Hamburger, or pepperoni?"

OHHH! SO YOU MEAN
BLIND HAWAIIAN LION PEOPLE!?!

It was nearly dinnertime. Chicken balsamic was sizzling on the grill skillet, and a pot of bowtie pasta was noisily gurgling on the next burner. Maddy called in from the living room with one of those astounding factoids that sixth-graders often toss their parents' way.

"Mom! Did you know Hawaiian people can see their dreams?"

I couldn't quite hear her. "What? Hawaiians? Can't everybody see their dreams?"

"No! Lion people! Lion people can see their dreams!"

Lion people? Like, from some obscure tribe in Africa? "Hunhhh?"

In disgust, she stomped halfway toward me. "B-l-i-n-d people, Mom! BLIND people can see their dreams! They can't see otherwise, but when they dream, they can visualize it."

Ohhhh! She was soooo frustrated . . . but I gave that one reply from the Moms Club that works every time: "That's nice, Dear."

NO FRILLS AIRLINE BIT:
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU MISS
CAROL BURNETT, HARVEY KORMAN AND TIM CONWAY

It's coming to this, and they knew, decades ago:

http://www.youtube.com/v/QCz8he36hsk%26hl%3den%22

QUITCHER BEEFIN'
'BOUT FOOD PRICES

Rancher friend of a friend reminisced about the days in 1973 when President Nixon put a freeze on beef prices because a corn shortage had led to a beef shortage, and prices were going sky-high.

The market price for an Angus calf at the time of the freeze: 18 cents per pound. That's not a very high sky, compared to today's prices.

Today's market price: $2.06 per pound, which, for a 629-pound heifer calf, comes to $1,295.74.

Zowie! Tend to think that the beef prices we're seeing now aren't ANYTHING like what they're going to be. Yikes! Put things in perspective, all right.

WHAT'S A HOKIE?
WELL . . . IT'S HOKIE

Have been enjoying the Virginia Tech Hokies playing the Michigan Wolverines in the Sugar Bowl tonight. Got to wondering: what is a "Hokie," anyway?

It's a bird, but not a real bird. The word "hokie" was made up by a college student over 110 years ago, when the school changed names from its previous "Virginia Polytechnic Institute," or VPI -- and officials sponsored a cheer contest to build up some school spirit.

But yumpin' yiminy -- the state legislature had named the school the "Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College and Polytechnic Institute." Imagine cheering for THAT! You'd faint before you could get all the words out.

But a college student named Stull won the $5 top prize for his cheer:


Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy.


Techs, Techs, V.P.I.


Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah.


Polytechs - Vir-gin-ia.


Rae, Ri, V.P.I.


(Later, the phrase "Team! Team! Team!" was added at the end, and an "e" was added to "Hoki," according to the Virginia Tech website.)

SELECT ONE, EITHER/OR:
1. CUTE BABY SLOTHS GETTING A BATH
2. NEBRASKA FOOTBALL TEAM'S BOWL GAME EFFECTIVENESS

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/bath-time-for-baby-sloths/peqanu5?from=sharepermalink-facebook&cpkey=0e280872-16c5-46dd-b144-86df32a17848%7c%7c%7c%7c

A NEW YEAR'S MESSAGE
TO START OFF 2012 WITH A SMILE

Happy New Year, mate! Fix yourself a spot o' tea and enjoy this delight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x91rBzNKvlc&NR=1