DailySusan Humor Blog

TEENAGE MUTANT IN PANIC MODE

Our sweet 16-year-old is very patient about babysitting her 3-year-old sister, especially if it’s on a Saturday morning when they can both park in front of the ‘toons and she can pretend she’s babysitting, not enjoying her old favorites.

Well, this past Saturday, the toddler was parked and the mom was out the door. So the teenager went downstairs get her ever-present cellphone in case any of the mutants cared to call with one of their earth-shaking issues, like “Wuzzup?” “Not much. You?”

Naturally, it rang while she was down there, so she conversed in the privacy and splendor of her own room. And maybe she let it go on a little long. Maybe a lot long.

She vaulted the steps two at a time to rejoin her young charge . . . but the toddler was no longer there.

She wasn’t in the kitchen. She wasn’t in her room. She wasn’t in the basement. She wasn’t anywhere in the house.

Worse yet, her little purple winter coat was still hanging in the closet!

SHE MUST HAVE WANDERED OUTSIDE IN HER JAMMIES AND BARE FEET, IN 28 INCHES OF SNOW!!! SHE MUST BE OUT THERE RIGHT THAT MOMENT, FREEZING SOLIDLY INTO A LITTLE BLUE BOARD! WHICH MEANT SHE, THE TEENAGER, WAS GOING TO BE SO, SO GROUNDED!

The teenager went into Full-Scale Panic Mode. Her eyes surveilled the backyard landscape. Hmm: no little blue body in the visible drifts. No little pixie footprints, either.

But what was that, back by the trees?!? Little waving shadows behind the uncut tufts of prairie grass!

She burst outside, ignoring her own bare feet, as the theme song from “Chariots of Fire” sprang into her head. You know, the song they played when they were running really fast along the white beach. Only for her, it was white snow: “Duh duh duh duh duhhhhh duh, duh duh duh duh duhhhhhhh. . . .”

Yeah, duh, all right. She practically dove into the snow behind that grass. But that wasn’t a freezing cold toddler! That was a barn cat!

The toddler was nowhere to be found. The teenager was toast. Her feet were freezing cold, but the rest of her? Toast.

She returned inside, and fretted about it intensely for 30 anxious minutes . . . until her dad arrived with the toddler in tow, in her OTHER winter coat, happy and unblue and unfrozen.

While the teenager had been downstairs taking that call, the dad had unexpectedly come home and taken the little cabin-bound one on an exciting outing to the hardware store and “Burber King.”

No, he didn’t leave the teen a note. That’s the kind of stuff GROWNUP mutants do!

And yes, he should have been grounded. Or made to write 100 times, “I will not take Maddy without leaving a note. I will not take Maddy. . . .”

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Prayer request: Lord, we lift up to you Dawn, who is recovering from brain surgery, and suffering pounding headaches, eyesight problems, and doubt and fear. Heal her, Father, and protect her job despite these many absences. Keep her spirits up and help her graciously receive care, even though as an R.N., she’s used to being the one delivering it. Give her medical team the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and keep her family strong in Your might as she undergoes another surgery soon. Help her recall, Lord, that You are her head, and You have her in both Your mind and heart. (1 Corinthians 11:3)