DON'T THEY TEACH RANDOM HUMOR
IN THOSE DRY CITY PLANNING CLASSES?

Maddy, 8, caught sight of the white pedestrian symbol on the electronic crosswalk sign for "GO" changing over to the orange hand meaning "STOP."

That was not elaborate enough for her.

"They need sound effects to get you to pay attention," she proclaimed. "You know: the sound of a truck stopping really fast -- SCREEEEEECH!!! -- when it's 'STOP' . . . and a coach's voice shouting, 'C'mon! Get a move on! Shake a leg! Get over here! Hurry up!' when it's 'GO.'"

We'll just have to wait 'til she's mayor, I guess.

I love it when her stream of consciousness is on "GO" but when my old brain is fried I wish I knew what button to push sometimes to make it "STOP."

HOT STOCK TIP:
WATCHING THE DOW PLUNGE IS SUCH A GAS

Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding the buying or selling of stocks. But I felt this is important enough to share and to warn you, since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON. Ewwwwwww! Phhhhhhhhht!!!!

Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks:

American Can

Interstate Water

National Gas Company

Northern Tissue Company.

Due to uncertain market conditions, I advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas.

Note that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean.

WE DON'T NEED A STIMULUS,
WE NEED ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY!!!

An attorney friend was bemoaning what has happened to his 401(k) retirement plan in the past few weeks.

"It's now a 4.01(k)," he lamented.

GROOVIN' ON THIS QUOTE

Our heads are round so that thoughts can change direction.

-- Francis Picabia, painter and poet (1879-1953)