BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BEANS OF ISIS?

Oh, those TV closed caption transcribers. They are weirdoes.

Today I saw a man being interviewed on national TV. The caption strip quoted him as warning us of "the rice of ISIS."

So next are they going to throw rice at us, like we're the bride and groom?!?

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?

Some friends went to a party with several other families. Many of them have young-adult kids who grew up together and stayed friends.

Because it had been a while since everyone had gotten together, the hosts arranged to have different colored armbands out on the welcome table, as an ice-breaker.

If you were in a red-hot relationship, you would wear a red armband.

If you were kind of, sort of, on the lookout for someone to date, you would wear purple.

If you were enjoying many friendships, you would wear yellow.

If you had been married for a long, long time, you would wear black.

My friend's son, a college senior, told his mom that if there would have been brown armbands, that's the color he would have chosen.

She asked why.

"Because my love life is in the crapper!" he retorted.

(He is a hunk, and very sweet, but he says he always "gets stuck" in the friendship phase of relationships, and he would like to move into that red armband brigade! So hey, girls -- go get 'im!)