CHRISTMAS CORNBALL

What language does Santa Claus speak?
North Polish.

Where does Santa Claus go swimming?
The North Pool.

What kind of motorcycle would Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.

What is Santa Claus' favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes.

What do you call Santa when he goes to the beach?
Sandy Claus.

How do Santa and Mrs. Claus travel?
On an icicle built for two.

Some children call him Santa Caus since there is Noel.

What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents?
Santa Pause!

Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.

If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be?
A subordinate Claus.

What would Santa's grandfather be called?
Grandfather Claus.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho, ho, ho.

IT'S THE FOLLOW-UP QUESTION
THAT GETS YOU, EVERY TIME

Over the weekend, the 8-year-old put me in my place once again. Maddy and I were joking around in front of her older siblings and assorted others. I said something that I thought was fairly humorous, and she retorted:

"Oh, Mom, you're not funny!"

Mock hurt. "I'm not funny?"

Honest reply: "Not when you're TRYING to be."